Naivety World

Within the past week, I had to go into town. What should have been a 20-minute walk ended up taking me about 45 minutes, walking from one end of town to the other.

I generally dislike going into town, and when I do, I try to avoid certain streets or roads unless absolutely necessary. This time, I had to visit a business around Koja where I’m getting my book printed (super excited about that!), which meant I had no choice but to use Tom Mboya Street and walk all the way from somewhere near railways to Koja. It’s a relatively straightforward route. But by the time I got to where I was going, I was angry, frustrated and felt like I needed two showers.

At what point did people become so comfortable grabbing a random stranger’s arm? During my walk, I had not one, not two, but five instances where either a matatu conductor or a random hawker reached out and grabbed my arm, trying to pull me towards themselves and whatever they were selling. Five times! The last person to grab my arm faced my full frustration when I finally turned on him.

I remember there was a time I was going to board a matatu, un-aided. Like I was walking towards it already and I was at the door boarding it, when the matatu conductor came up behind me and put his hand on my lower back. I felt a shiver run down my spine. It was like I had the crawlies – that feeling you get when it feels like bugs are walking all over your skin. But why Mr. Conductor Sir, whyyyyyy? I immediately left and got into another matatu because no. Just no.

Walking through town was already challenging when it was just about trying not to bump into people and maintaining a respectable pace and distance. Now, it feels like I have to play a game of cat and mouse just to get through.
Some of you may ask, “What were you wearing?” While this question is as silly as it is irrelevant, I’ll indulge you. I was in my most chill, comfortable, casual wear: a big black hoodie, black pants, and flat brown uggs. Since I was in a rush to get into town, I didn’t even bother unbraiding my matutas. I figured I’d slip in and out of town like a hobbit, quick and unnoticed. Instead, I got back home with a headache and the lingering sensation of strangers’ hands on my arm.

This experience got me thinking about personal space and how some people feel entitled to invade it. The sense of entitlement that allows someone to think it’s okay to grab a stranger is baffling and infuriating. It’s as if just my presence in a public space gives others the right to touch me without consent.
I wonder if men experience the same level of physical intrusion. As in, I’m sure anyone can have their personal space violated, but it seems more common and socially accepted for women to go through this kind of behavior. Women often deal with unwanted physical contact more frequently, whether it’s a casual touch on the arm or something more invasive. It’s a frustrating reality that many of us face daily.

For men, I’m guessing the experience might be different. They might not face the same frequency of unwelcome touches or the same kind of invasive behavior. However, that’s not to say it doesn’t happen. Whichever way, personal space should be respected, and no one should have to endure unwelcome physical contact.

That quick zip into town was an unpleasant reminder of how stressful navigating crowded areas can be, from the unwanted physical contact to the overwhelming noise and hustle and not to forget about people traffic. It also highlighted a broader issue, which is the need for everyone to respect personal boundaries.