Naivety World

I have seen and experienced a huge shift in relationships. I almost thought, after not being in this space for a while, it’d be relatively clear getting back in.

But instead, it’s like finally getting a glass of water after being desperately thirsty for too long. I want to drink my fill, then carry some in a huge water bottle, whatever it takes to never feel that thirst again.

I’ve been told I’m terrible at analogies, so if you didn’t get that one, don’t worry. The point is, coming back to dating after some time away has been… interesting. And not in a cute, romcom way. More like the plot twist in a thriller where you realize you were the unreliable narrator all along. I need to stop leaving my stories hanging.

Everything has changed. Or maybe everything has just become more exposed. There’s so much uncertainty in the world right now, and that fog seems to have drifted into our relationships too. It’s no longer about “boy meets girl, boy woos girl, boy proposes in public with a flash mob.” Now it’s “girl soft launches boy on Instagram after six months of vague situationship and countless internal debates whether he even deserves a highlight story.”

There are days it feels like the basic structure of relationships, even friendships, has become trivial. There’s so much contrast on socials, seeing people being loved so fully, while others are lucky to even get the bare minimum. You’ve all probably seen the “Man of the Year award goes to” video…. Then there are the unbothered, single and thriving, with glowing skin, booked flights, and zero energy for emotional turbulence. 

Sometimes I wonder if I missed a class. How To Be Emotionally Unavailable But Still Desirable 101? Or maybe a short course on How To Love Someone Without Letting Them Know They’re Loved Because Vulnerability Is So 2020?

Last year, around this time, I thought I’d be content with just a lover. But I’m simply just a girl, thrown into the tide of acting like a lady and thinking like a man. It’s funny how we grow. Or maybe funny isn’t the word. Ironic, perhaps. Because as much as we claim to be free spirits and modern minds, many of us still long for something real… something lasting.

They say the heart wants what it wants. And if it doesn’t know what it wants, then the brain steps in, prepared with every article read, every podcast digested, every TikTok therapist’s advice, and starts crafting what it thinks is the safest, smartest choice. A strict plan with no interest in your feels.

And that makes sense. We’ve got to survive somehow. Before we thrive, we survive. We protect ourselves, we calculate, we observe, and we categorize people into little mental boxes labeled: Safe, Fun, Red Flag, Potential, Should’ve Known Better, etc.

The truth is, we’re all trying. Okay, maybe not all of us. But I am. Maybe I’m just a naive girl, navigating the waters of 21st-century relationships with a romcom movie mindset. Maybe I’m still figuring out what I want. Maybe I won’t know until I see it. And maybe, that’s okay.

Because somewhere between surviving and thriving, I’m learning that it’s okay to want love deeply. It’s okay to want to be with one person who completely sees you, and who you completely see. And it’s okay to admit that I miss the days when things felt a little simpler, a lot clearer, a little more “Notting Hill” and a little less “Black Mirror.”

But hey, at least I’m not thirsty anymore.

At least now, I know what the water tastes like.

I don’t plan on forgetting it again.