Naivety World

I love flowers. I love how they brighten even the dullest room with their kaleidoscope of colors, and they infuse new life into me even when I’m tired. They remind me of softness and of beauty.

But, I don’t own a vase.

I used to have one. A little blue vase that could fit about seven stalks at most, but it chipped and broke. I didn’t replace it. Until now. For a long time, I had convinced myself I didn’t need one. So, anytime I got flowers, I’d put them in a jug, and watch them wither before their time.

But, if I love flowers as much as I say I do, why wouldn’t I want them to thrive with me? Or atleast live as long as flower-ly possible.

You guessed it, this isn’t just about flowers. It’s about the things we say we want and what exactly we are doing to prepare to have those things and maintain them. We talk about the dream job, the relationship, the house, the trips, the joy. The “what would I do if i had a million dollars” questions. We daydream and even allow ourselves to hope a little, but when it comes down to it, are we ready to have them? Are we ready to maintain them when we have them?

Let me give you another example.

Stella has always dreamed of going on a proper date. She’d picture herself dressed up at a beautiful restaurant, across from a handsome man she can enjoy wonderful conversation with. Then one random Tuesday, it happened. A guy she liked asked her out. Saturday night dinner at a nice restaurant, exactly the kind of moment she’d been imagining. She said yes without hesitation.

But then the panic set in when she looked through her closet. She didn’t have an outfit for it. She had pieces here and there, but nothing outstanding for this moment. And now she’s in a mad rush scrolling through social media for an outfit she’ll pay twice for plus delivery, because she has no time to go shopping.

I know what you’re thinking. “Just pick something from the closet. Match something up, it’s no big deal.” Yes. Yes it is. When you’re sitting across from someone you like on your first date, you want to look and feel your best. And before you say, “If he really likes her, it shouldn’t matter what she wears,” let’s be honest, you wouldn’t feel that way if the roles were reversed. 

Despite knowing this was something she’d always wanted, Stella had never prepared for it. She thought it would just… happen. And when it did, she wasn’t ready.

We do this more often than we admit. We talk about the love we want, the experiences we crave, the life we’re chasing. But when the opportunity finally shows up, we find ourselves scrambling, unprepared and unsure. We think things would fall into place on their own. But life doesn’t really work like that.

One of the biggest lessons adulthood has taught me is intentionality. Even small pockets of happiness require intention, otherwise things will keep happening to you. I’ve noticed this a lot when it comes to love and relationships. They have become a source of hope and anxiety for most. You ask someone if they’re dating, or in a relationship and you see a mix of emotions flit across their face

First, there’s the flicker of hope: “Me?”

Then comes the pause, the hesitation: “Well… I’m not in a relationship now.”

Then the shadow of past disappointment: “But I’m not really looking”

Finally, closing that door and moving on swiftly before hope takes over: “Honestly, I don’t have time for that right now.”

The words may not be exactly those, but the dance is the same. I’ve seen it in others, and I have found myself in similar conversations trying to close that door, but not completely in case prince charming invites all the maidens to a ball to choose a bride. Crazier things have happened, no?

But if love is something we want, if connection is something our hearts crave, we can’t keep pretending it will land in our laps and bloom in our passivity. Give yourself permission to be ready, set up your life in a way that welcomes the things you say you want. Let yourself dream, and back that dream with action.

Afterall, if we’re not intentional, we’ll miss the moments we prayed for.

So maybe it starts with something small, like buying the vase, and making room, and saying yes. Because if you love something, whether it’s flowers, or people, or a full life, you owe it to yourself to let it thrive with you.

And sometimes, that’s all it takes.

Intentionality. 

Buy the vase.