Naivety World

There’s nothing that has been more confusing to me as today’s version of dating.

“You look like an interesting person. Let’s hang out.” Like on a date? Am I coming to meet you as you meet your other friends? Is it a platonic tea / coffee date or a potential candlelit dinner for two? What do you mean?

Men seem to have this knack for using vague words like “hanging out” and “getting to know you as friends.” It’s like speaking a different language littered with subtleties. The ambiguity is so frustrating and I really don’t want to crack this code in order to decipher an invitation.

But then, I’ve been out of the game for a long time, and the world has changed. The apps, the swiping, the instant connections, it’s a whirlwind, so forgive me if it’s taking me a while to catch up. I can’t ignore the constant worry that comes with meeting someone new. It’s not just about finding a connection; it’s about finding safety and security in a world that’s spinning way too fast.

Diving back into the dating pool has been like trying to swim upstream against a current of expectations, stereotypes, and to be honest, a few too many frogs. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and the haystack is on fire. I should just let it all burn down and see what remains.

The reality is, for women, every step into the dating world is a calculated risk. There’s this innate caution, a voice at the back of your mind reminding you of the potential dangers. It’s a mix of hope and caution, wanting to believe in the possibility of something beautiful while being hyper aware that anything could go wrong at any given time, leaving you stranded, abused or worse. You know what I mean. We have seen it happen, and in today’s society no less.

The challenge isn’t just about finding someone you connect with; it’s about finding someone who respects your boundaries, who understands the importance of taking things at a pace that feels right. The fear isn’t just about a lack of connection; it’s about the fear of misjudgment, of misreading intentions, and the constant awareness that not everyone out here has the best intentions.

In a world where we’re constantly striving for equality, it’s disheartening that the dating scene can still feel like a minefield for women. We should be able to explore love and connection without the constant worry about our safety. Yet, here we are, balancing on a tightrope, trying to find love in a world that feels more uncertain than ever.

And let’s talk about the audacity of splitting the bill. I’m all for equality, but when did it become the norm to divide the cost of a meal down to the last shilling on a first date? It’s not about the money; it’s about the principle. There’s a romantic tradition that’s fading away, but that’s a whole other story for another day.

What frustrates me is how casually men approach the entire process. They don’t fully understand the emotions and logistics women go through before agreeing to a date, especially with someone you are meeting for the first time. We Google you, check your social media profiles, and share our whereabouts with friends as a precaution. It’s like being in a pit of snakes. You don’t know if the one coming towards you is poisonous or non-poisonous. You’ll tense up and be guarded nonetheless, and it’s so exhausting. It’s honestly easier to just say no and pray really really hard that God will send you your person in other ways. He is a God of miracles.

But here’s the thing, despite the hurdles, despite the chaos, there’s a chance of finding something beautiful with someone wonderful. Love, companionship, or maybe just a really good story. I still have hope for a future where love isn’t just a beautiful possibility but a safe one too.