Naivety World

I came into this world reaching,
But your arms were always full,
Of silence,
Of distance,
Of everything but me.

I searched your eyes for answers,
In photos that never smiled.
I asked the air what I had done,
Why I was the child,
You didn’t choose.

You were the dream I carried,
Like a bruise beneath my skin,
A name I whispered in lonely rooms,
Hoping you’d walk in.

But you stayed gone,
Even when I was right there,
You stayed gone,
Even when I called you “Mom”,
With hope disguised as air.

I built a thousand versions of you,
Loving. Kind. Warm,
But every one was fiction,
Every one dissolved,
When I looked at the truth too long.

I don’t know why you couldn’t love me,
I don’t know what in me,
Felt unworthy to you,
But I’ve stared at the mirror long enough,
To finally say:
It wasn’t me.
It never was.

Your absence is your story.
But survival?
That one’s mine.

So this is not a plea,
This is letting go.
A quiet goodbye,
To a ghost I chased too long.

I will find home in my own skin.
I will build love from people who choose me.
And maybe one day,
I’ll look in the mirror
And see no trace of the girl
Who waited.