In 2016 the world was graced with Me Before You, a British romantic drama starring Emilia Clarke and Sam Clafin. If you are wondering why “Emilia Clarke” sounds familiar it is because she was the mother of dragons for eight seasons in one of the most popular shows to ever air on television, Game of Thrones. Emilia in Me Before You, however, is nothing like Emilia in GOT.
In the romantic drama, Emilia plays the role of Louisa, a warm and quirky, 26-year-old who has never left home and has an interesting perception of fashion. She finds herself unemployed after her long-term waitress job comes to an abrupt end. Desperate, she takes on a job as a caregiver for a paraplegic patient- William- who has a sharp mind and snooty attitude. This sets the stage for an impossible yet palpable romance; light vs dark, a zest for life vs wanting to end one’s life, me vs you.
Louisa genuinely believes she can change Will’s mind. I suppose she holds on to this belief because of the concept, “love conquers all.” I mean, when one is in love, they become selfless, placing the needs of the other person above theirs. Going by this logic, Louisa should have supported Will’s decision because that is what he wanted since the beginning of the film. To keep the promise he had made to his parents; that he would spend six months more on earth before taking his life. So ideally, Louisa should have stood by Will’s decision and Will should have had a change of heart. But it just doesn’t work like this, does it?
The truth is Me Before You gives us a very realistic portrayal of how we perceive love. Upon discovering Will’s decision (and talking to her phenomenal sister), Louisa hunkers down, drowns herself in books and plans, determined to reignite Will’s will to live. She clutches on to what we are guilty of from time to time, the strong belief that we can change a person through love. We see her pain when Will tells her that he is still going to go through with it. The realization that love does not always conquer all.
At the end of the day, Me before you shows us that love is not about changing your partner or accepting them for who they are, love is about being there. I read somewhere that marriage will introduce you to multiple versions of the person you marry. If you hold on to that initial person, you will miss out on all the others, and well, you won’t survive that marriage. So you stand by them, learn to love all these new versions as they do the same. Louisa did not approve of what Will was doing and if it were up to her, they would have been hitched at that Island and they would ride into the sunset but that is not what Will wanted. In the end, she did what love calls for, being there even when the waters are unsteady. She placed him before her.
I don’t know about Will honestly. As a romantic, I hoped that Louisa’s act of selflessness was going to change his mind last minute. That he would hold on to that possibility of being loved and this would shift his perspective on life in general. That way, we would see a change in both characters, both of them placing their needs before the other. But that is what happens yes? It is not always 50-50, one might give more than the other and just because your perception of love is not met does not mean someone does not love you, right?
Recently someone said, “Behind every complex question lies a simple, straightforward, wrong answer.”
Love is complex. It will look different for different people, there is simply no panacea. What can we do? Pray, pray that our kind, reliable God will give you a partner who will put you before them and that you would do the same.
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